Heaven Knows…it’s been a long journey

Early in 2013, I wrote the first paragraph of a book about the afterlife, near-death experiences, about people who had died and been resuscitated prior to Dr. Moody’s ground-breaking 1975 book, Life After Life and the research that has been going on in this field for decades.

It was a book that had been conversing with me inside my head for almost a year. Fortunately, no-one knew this, otherwise I might have been invited to become a resident of the Sunny Valley Home for the Chronically Bewildered, and the book would never have been written. (Although it’s possible I’d have remained considerably saner if that had occurred!)

The truth is, I almost discarded the whole project after two psychics gave me the bad news!

Months before I wrote the first line, I had removed 30 or 40 dusty old books from my bookshelf, re-read each one carefully and scrawled copious notes. By the time I’d finished, every book was fringed with yellow post-it tabs and my scribbled notes filled three lined notepads.

At last, I was ready to start writing.

The words came tumbling out and my fingers could barely keep up. Sometimes. At other times, I spent hours searching through notes to find ‘just the right quote’ or details of a specific incident.

Day after day, month after month, I kept going, and it was almost finished when an old friend, Rhonda, phoned. Now, those of you who have read my book will already be well-acquainted with my amazing psychic friend, Rhonda.

“The book’s not ready!” she told me in the middle of a conversation about something altogether different. “It’s not finished.” Rhonda never ceased to amaze me – she didn’t even know I was writing a book!

“Er…no, it’s not yet, but… um, almost.” I stuttered.

“Nowhere near!” she insisted. “Lots more to do.”

“But Rhonda, I…..”

“Two years!” She interrupted. “It won’t be ready for two years.”

Two years? I’d spent almost a year on this book and it was already way longer than I’d planned. I couldn’t possibly add more!

“You can research, you can collate, but there’s a lot more to add. And don’t ask me what. You know I only repeat what ‘they’ tell me.”

“Hmmm, ok.” I said with a sigh, determined to complete it in the next few weeks, regardless of her grim counsel.

For the next few days, my mind kept replaying those words. “It won’t be ready for two years.” Rhonda had always been eerily accurate with her predictions.

The step at the back door had always been my ‘thinking-place’, so I positioned myself there that evening and begged the universe to provide confirmation—or hopefully, otherwise— of Rhonda’s warning.

The following day, an acquaintance welcomed a new facebook friend to her timeline. Shirley described herself as a psychic. “Hmmm,” I thought. “I wonder.” Apart from Rhonda, I had never been very trusting of psychics. I made the decision to dismiss her presence on my computer screen as mere coincidence if she lived more than a few miles away.

She lived less than a few miles away! I made an appointment.

At the end of my amazing reading with Shirley, the book had not even been mentioned. Well, that was hardly surprising. Apart from Rhonda – who only knew because ‘they’ had told her— very few people were aware I was writing it. This time I was desperate enough to ask outright while also taking care not to give too much away.

“And … the book?” I almost whispered.

Shirley sat in silence for a few minutes. Then she said: “Not yet.”

I find it amusing, daunting and amazing to listen to the recording of this reading today. Her ‘not yet’ is followed by a long period of silence and I can still feel the emotions pulsing through me at hearing those words, still recall how my mind was spinning as I tried to decide whether to pursue the matter.

Eventually, I asked “How long?” More silence followed before Shirley said “They’re telling me two years.”

The loud thump of my fist slamming down on the table can be easily heard on the CD. Thanks, universe!

I spent the following week staring at a blank computer screen, wondering what else I was meant to write. Whatever it was, it would apparently take a further two years! What I had written so far— what I thought was a complete book— had taken less than a year! I decided this book must be destined to become the biggest book in the history of publishing!

As a distraction, I started cleaning out my study. Let’s face it, almost anything is better than staring at a blank computer screen. In the process I found my old journals! I hadn’t seen my journals since I’d packed them away before moving house sixteen years earlier.

Not only am I a regular journaler, I’m also an incurable hoarder. This meant I had years and years (and even more years) of journals stacked in a box. And – as almost anything also beats cleaning up a room instead of looking at a blank computer screen – I took time-out to sit down with a coffee and flick through them.

When I came to the journal labelled 1987, I almost skipped it. 1987 had been a distressing year. It was not one I wanted to dwell on, but something compelled me to open it. As I began to read bits and pieces, I realized that finding these journals was no accident.

I spent the next few weeks reading everything I had written over a ten year period.  When I’d finished, I knew how the book needed to be changed. I returned to my computer, removed 21,000 words, put them aside for book 2, and started all over again, including many of my journal entries about my own doubts and fears.

Shirley’s reading took place on May 15, 2014, Rhonda’s a few days earlier.

In August, 2016, I finished my book. Either I was three months late, or Rhonda and Shirley were both three months out in their predictions.

On November 5, 2016, Heaven Knows, sub-titled A Personal Journey in Search of Evidence, was loaded to Amazon.

Tomorrow I start on book 2.

Hey, I’m not getting any younger, and there are at least three more books on the subject rattling around inside my head. (It’s a busy place in there!)

And they say writing a book is easy! Ha!

Cheers, SandyC

• Posted in: afterlife